he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
worst night to have a conscience
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she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
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Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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