So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
