nut hugger
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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