I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
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She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
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YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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