yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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