420 ftw
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
