I am puke
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
