Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...