I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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