So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
