Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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