my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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