Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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