I wanna bring you to show and tell
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
