it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
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all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
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I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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