How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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