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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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