Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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