Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
