Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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