ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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