Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
