I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You may now shotgun with the bride
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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