We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
