i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Dick very happy bro
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