if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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