you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize