i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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