bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
