return my video game
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
