I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
