It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
