she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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