and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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