I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
