why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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