I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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