he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
