I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
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still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
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Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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