need another drink. this is the easiest way
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Found the puke drawer
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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