Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
