PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
