White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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