Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
