There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
