I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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