I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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