Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
