I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
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Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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