it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
