she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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