next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
