we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
