Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
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Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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