She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
