I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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