my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My vagina is officially offended.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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