thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
