Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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