I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
