We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize