I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
