Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
