I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
