I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Randomize
