Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
